The weekend of Alabama's Homecoming (Oct 16th) Jared and I decided to stay home and watch the game. It was a late game (8pm) so it would be easier to watch it and go to bed than worry about driving all the way home. During halftime Jared goes to the living room and gets on the computer to waste some time. All of a sudden I hear... "Stef, will you get my flashlight?" I walk to the bedroom without asking any questions and grab the flashlight. As I'm handing it to him he's already looking in the coat closet right by the front door. So of course my curiousity gets to me...I ask "What are you looking for? A spider?" and he replies "hand me my machete". Ummm, those are 4 words no wife ever wants to hear their husband say. Now it is funny but at that time it creeped me out. Ha! Of course I get the machete and come back. Right now the top of our pool table (which is so heavy it took 4 people to move) is leaning up against the wall inside the front door. He asked me to hold it back so he can look behind it. I am standing there, during halftime, with shorts and a t-shirt on, barefoot, holding up the top to the pool table when a field mouse runs right in front of my toes. Of course I'm like "Jared it just ran by" and he starts searching the living room. While he is looking I decide to get up to the second step to get a better look. I'm standing there shining a flashlight when it runs by my feet again. Once again we chase after it. We no longer see it so we give up and go back to watching the game.
A week goes by with no mouse and I'm starting to think it's gone. Then last weekend I hear Jared jump up and run across the room. I come in to see what he's doing and he's looking behind the pool table. I decide to hold the pool table away from the wall so we can see it and the little thing was popping in and out of the pool table. He would poke his head out and see us and go back in. After a while we give up and go on doing whatever it was we were doing.
Sunday night we were getting ready for bed. Jared's already in bed watching tv and I just brushed my teeth and started to walk around the bed to my side. Right as I go to turn the corner he runs by. Jared gets up and looks under the bed. I say "be careful" and he said "it's not a tiger. it's not going to leap at my face" haha! But anyways, about that time it runs and jumps in a purse I had sitting on the floor. This is an empty purse (all except a pair of heels) that Jared's mom had just given me. So he scoops up the purse and walks out of the room. When I finally leave the room he's standing at the end of the hallway debating how to kill it. He said "is there anything in this purse?" and I said "just a pair of heels your mom gave me" and he said "are you attached to the purse?" and I said "no" so he replies with "then go get me the hammer" that thought makes me cringe but I start to head that way. He then said "no I can't do that. How about a garbage bag?" So I pull out one of the white kitchen bags and he dumps the mouse in. At this time we are looking at him and he is looking at us and he was so cute and scared. He was about an inch long and grey. Now we are torn. Do we kill him or not? So Jared said "let's let fate decide. Do you have a quarter?" I grab one from the table and he flips it. Fate decided it was time for the mouse to die. However, we weren't sure. So I suggested best two out of three. He flips again and again fate decides the mouse must die. We decide fate is incorrect and Jared puts on shoes and heads out the door. In the storm he decided to release him down the road. We go back to the bedroom and climb back in bed. Not even 5 minutes later Jared sees another one run under the bedroom door and into his closet (we have his and her closets) After chasing him from Jared's closet, to my closet, to the hall closet, to one of the guest closets, we lose him when he goes into the hallway. It's at this time that Jared and I make an agreement. The first one we let go...from here on out, they all must die.
So because of this and because of the 50 million wasps floating around the front and back door we have decided this weekend is....TAKE BACK OUR HOUSE WEEKEND! Nothing shall live, everything will die! :::in a creepy Halloween voice with crazy laughing in the background:::
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
"You Are Just Like Your Mother"
So as I get older I start to become more and more like my mother. Not that I'm saying it's a bad thing, my mom is a GREAT woman and I would be lucky to follow in her footsteps; however, it seems I am falling in her "not so good" footsteps.
Growing up she was a 'fashionably-late-to-everything' type person. Not because she didn't start getting ready until the last minute....NOOOO...she started a couple of hours ahead of time but we never walked out the door until the time we were supposed to be there or at least 5 minutes before or after. It was very frustrating to always rush rush rush. So I vowed to never be like that. Since then I leave my house in plenty of time to get wherever I am going even if that means going with wet hair or no makeup...as long as I'm there on time.
The thing that always got me about her was that even though we were running late there was always a reason to run back inside the house. We couldn't make it out of the neighborhood, sometimes not even out of the driveway before she was like "did I unplug the iron?" "did I turn the oven off?" and that amazed me. How does someone manage to 'forget' if they have done something and not just once in a blue moon...everytime?! I now know...
Last week Jared and I were carpooling to work and we had successfully left on time. We are joking and listening to the radio as we enter into "town" (which happens to be 15 minutes away from our house) and all of a sudden it hits me... I can't remember if I unplugged my straightener. I have a few quick seconds of a mini freak out while deciding how uncertain am I? Enough to turn around and basically go another 30 minutes out of my way (there and back) just to make sure it's unplugged? Well it's that or have the house burn down so we head back. I was officially doing 90 on backroads and cussing at other drivers. I pull into the driveway, run to the front door, unlock it and head into the bathroom...it's then that I notice, it wasn't plugged in. Now I have wasted gas and time and all of it was for nothing. I head back to the car and remember that earlier that same week I had gotten about 25 minutes from my house when I had to call Jared to unplug my straightener. So I asked him, as I got into our car, "when I called you earlier this week was my straightener even plugged in?" of course it was a no. Why is it all of a sudden I can't remember pulling the plug?
Well this morning I get dressed and ready and make our lunches and head to the car. As soon as I start up the car I start thinking to myself, did I remember to put on deodorant? I have now gotten to the extent (just like my mother) where I can't even make it out of the driveway. Why does this happen? Are we genetically programmed to be just like them? Or are we all really too busy now a days to think things through? Do we really live our lives on a schedule so much that one step that's different throws everything off?
Growing up she was a 'fashionably-late-to-everything' type person. Not because she didn't start getting ready until the last minute....NOOOO...she started a couple of hours ahead of time but we never walked out the door until the time we were supposed to be there or at least 5 minutes before or after. It was very frustrating to always rush rush rush. So I vowed to never be like that. Since then I leave my house in plenty of time to get wherever I am going even if that means going with wet hair or no makeup...as long as I'm there on time.
The thing that always got me about her was that even though we were running late there was always a reason to run back inside the house. We couldn't make it out of the neighborhood, sometimes not even out of the driveway before she was like "did I unplug the iron?" "did I turn the oven off?" and that amazed me. How does someone manage to 'forget' if they have done something and not just once in a blue moon...everytime?! I now know...
Last week Jared and I were carpooling to work and we had successfully left on time. We are joking and listening to the radio as we enter into "town" (which happens to be 15 minutes away from our house) and all of a sudden it hits me... I can't remember if I unplugged my straightener. I have a few quick seconds of a mini freak out while deciding how uncertain am I? Enough to turn around and basically go another 30 minutes out of my way (there and back) just to make sure it's unplugged? Well it's that or have the house burn down so we head back. I was officially doing 90 on backroads and cussing at other drivers. I pull into the driveway, run to the front door, unlock it and head into the bathroom...it's then that I notice, it wasn't plugged in. Now I have wasted gas and time and all of it was for nothing. I head back to the car and remember that earlier that same week I had gotten about 25 minutes from my house when I had to call Jared to unplug my straightener. So I asked him, as I got into our car, "when I called you earlier this week was my straightener even plugged in?" of course it was a no. Why is it all of a sudden I can't remember pulling the plug?
Well this morning I get dressed and ready and make our lunches and head to the car. As soon as I start up the car I start thinking to myself, did I remember to put on deodorant? I have now gotten to the extent (just like my mother) where I can't even make it out of the driveway. Why does this happen? Are we genetically programmed to be just like them? Or are we all really too busy now a days to think things through? Do we really live our lives on a schedule so much that one step that's different throws everything off?
Monday, August 9, 2010
B Double E Double R U N
So Sunday Jared and I are laying around taking it easy and decide to go for a drive. We started out just exploring the new town we live in and then it hits Jared...a drink would be nice. Well we have moved to a dry county (no alcohol sales ever) so we decide to head to the closest county from the point we are at. We know it's away from Jefferson County (which is where we normally go to by beer) but are hoping we are not bordering another dry county.
We set out on our journey and the first county we come to is Cullman County. Now for those of you who don't know...Cullman County is ALSO a dry county. We laugh a little as Jared gets out of the car at the gas station just to make sure and some real nice looking fellas come out with bandanna's and no teeth.
We get back on the road as Jared pulls up the GPS on his phone and we discover the next county road we come to will eventually cut us over to another county where we can hopefully get a 6 pack and head home. We are now hauling ass down this county road cuz we have now realized we are almost out of gas and don't foresee a gas station being too close and Jared comes down a hill and bottoms out my car. Now at this point I have turned to him and made a smart comment and then we laughed it off. Thankfully the car still works but unfortunately we still don't have gas. We are now going down winding back roads at about 60 miles an hour (that would be my husbands awesome driving skills lol!) and we come out to a main secondary highway. Now as we were on these multiple back county roads with no signs and a house every so many miles I start to think...if we run out of gas how long would it take to get to a gas station by walking? Would we try hitchhiking? And I then turn to Jared and remind him of every "end of the world" movie such as Book of Eli or The Road and how in movies like that...when they are walking and they see a house out in the middle of nowhere it tends to be the crazy country people who live there. You know...the ones who eat trespassers or torture you and make clothes out of your skin or whatever. So we have now decided if we do in fact run out of gas we will NOT be going up to anyone's house to ask anything, no matter what.
We reach the new county and Jared fills up at the first gas station but turns out this is a wet county EXCEPT on Sunday's. At this point all we can do is laugh. We get back on the road and try the next county over. Yes we have officially left our county and now crossed into 2 other counties. On the way to the new county I confess that my no caffeine thing (yes I have started a no caffeine diet) is starting to wear thin and I have a massive headache. At the next gas station we come to my sweet husband jumps out, grabs a coke, and a bag of my favorite chips (kettle sea salt and vinegar) and we get back on the road.
We are officially in the last county we can possible see ourselves heading to and Jared goes in a gas station and they do not sell alcohol. He asks where the nearest county is and the woman says Birmingham. First off I would like to point out Birmingham is NOT a county. And that's important because in Birmingham you have Jefferson and Shelby counties. Shelby doesn't serve alcohol on Sundays and Jefferson does after 12. What if we had driven all the way there and we didn't know that and we stopped in Shelby County only to find out no alcohol sales on Sunday. We would have been furious.
So sadly Jared gets back in the car and we head for home. It was a sad moment until we realized...we have literally just wasted/found something to do on a Sunday instead of just sitting at home and we enjoyed it. We joked and laughed the whole time we were in the car. Quoting movies and songs and all the other things that you do when you are with your best friend. How many couples do you know could spend hours in the car basically lost and doing nothing without fighting? and can actually say they enjoyed it? So thank you beer for being on our minds but not within our grasp on that Sunday afternoon.
We set out on our journey and the first county we come to is Cullman County. Now for those of you who don't know...Cullman County is ALSO a dry county. We laugh a little as Jared gets out of the car at the gas station just to make sure and some real nice looking fellas come out with bandanna's and no teeth.
We get back on the road as Jared pulls up the GPS on his phone and we discover the next county road we come to will eventually cut us over to another county where we can hopefully get a 6 pack and head home. We are now hauling ass down this county road cuz we have now realized we are almost out of gas and don't foresee a gas station being too close and Jared comes down a hill and bottoms out my car. Now at this point I have turned to him and made a smart comment and then we laughed it off. Thankfully the car still works but unfortunately we still don't have gas. We are now going down winding back roads at about 60 miles an hour (that would be my husbands awesome driving skills lol!) and we come out to a main secondary highway. Now as we were on these multiple back county roads with no signs and a house every so many miles I start to think...if we run out of gas how long would it take to get to a gas station by walking? Would we try hitchhiking? And I then turn to Jared and remind him of every "end of the world" movie such as Book of Eli or The Road and how in movies like that...when they are walking and they see a house out in the middle of nowhere it tends to be the crazy country people who live there. You know...the ones who eat trespassers or torture you and make clothes out of your skin or whatever. So we have now decided if we do in fact run out of gas we will NOT be going up to anyone's house to ask anything, no matter what.
We reach the new county and Jared fills up at the first gas station but turns out this is a wet county EXCEPT on Sunday's. At this point all we can do is laugh. We get back on the road and try the next county over. Yes we have officially left our county and now crossed into 2 other counties. On the way to the new county I confess that my no caffeine thing (yes I have started a no caffeine diet) is starting to wear thin and I have a massive headache. At the next gas station we come to my sweet husband jumps out, grabs a coke, and a bag of my favorite chips (kettle sea salt and vinegar) and we get back on the road.
We are officially in the last county we can possible see ourselves heading to and Jared goes in a gas station and they do not sell alcohol. He asks where the nearest county is and the woman says Birmingham. First off I would like to point out Birmingham is NOT a county. And that's important because in Birmingham you have Jefferson and Shelby counties. Shelby doesn't serve alcohol on Sundays and Jefferson does after 12. What if we had driven all the way there and we didn't know that and we stopped in Shelby County only to find out no alcohol sales on Sunday. We would have been furious.
So sadly Jared gets back in the car and we head for home. It was a sad moment until we realized...we have literally just wasted/found something to do on a Sunday instead of just sitting at home and we enjoyed it. We joked and laughed the whole time we were in the car. Quoting movies and songs and all the other things that you do when you are with your best friend. How many couples do you know could spend hours in the car basically lost and doing nothing without fighting? and can actually say they enjoyed it? So thank you beer for being on our minds but not within our grasp on that Sunday afternoon.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Freedom Fries
Ok, so you know those moments where you do something and immediately regret the decision? Yeah...I had one of those moments just now. I have been bringing my lunch everyday not only to save money but to also make more healthy choices about what I'm eating at lunch. However, for the past two weeks I have been craving McDonald's french fries. So today I wake up and think to myself "no pb&j for me...I'll be having the McDonald's french fries" So I make it through the first 5 hours of my day constantly day dreaming about the delicious, hot, crispy, potatoes I will be eating later and when 1pm comes I rush out the door. I get in my extremely hot, humid car with no air conditioning because to me it is worth it just to enjoy these fries. I pull up to place my order and the line is wrapped around the building. I am okay with this and when it is finally my turn I state "yes, I would like a LARGE fry" now because I have been craving them for so long I figured the large would satisfy my craving and I could go months without wanting them again. I pay for my treat and come back to work. I'm sitting at my desk preparing my ketchup mound (because I eat ketchup like it's a side dish) and I pull out a handful of fries. I dip them in some ketchup and take a bite. Now, these were not at all what I was looking forward to. They were cold, soggy, a little undercooked, and not at all delicious. I immediately regretted my decision as I decide to throw them in the trash instead of eating them. It was a huge let down! :(
Friday, July 23, 2010
Turtle Shells and Mushrooms....
Since Jared and I moved into our new house we have been working to get it how we want it. It's definitely a house still set back in the 70s (referring to the wallpaper and wall colors) Since we have been busy we decided we didn't need T.V. Now when we lived in Tuscaloosa we didn't have T.V. (cable) for well over a year and we were completely content so we figured we did it once we can do it again. It's been great. We haven't had time for it anyways but on nights where we get home later than planned or just don't feel like painting or doing yard work we have to have something to pass the time. After a short convincing talk with my hubby we decided to dig out the old Nintendo Game Cube and play some Mario Kart (this is the ONLY game I have for game cube lol!) It has become a HUGE competition between who is going to be the winner in the races or the different battle games. It's almost become like an addiction. "Just one more game then we will go to bed." We are like giant kids who would rather be sleep deprived and exhausted at work the next day then let the other one beat us in a "friendly" game of Mario Kart. Well here is how you know it has gone too far...
This morning on my way to work I'm behind my husband going down Hwy 75. Well not technically right behind...a couple of cars behind cuz he left a few minutes earlier than I did. My cell phone rings and low and behold it's Jared. I answer the phone half expecting him to say there's a cop ahead or he forgot to get his lunch I made him or whatever...but instead I get the following statement... "So I was driving down the road and I threw my banana peel out the window and immediately wondered if you were going to hit it and spin out" Hahahaha! Now if you have never played Mario Kart then it probably doesn't make sense to you but it definitely brightened my morning and reminded me why I love my husband!
This morning on my way to work I'm behind my husband going down Hwy 75. Well not technically right behind...a couple of cars behind cuz he left a few minutes earlier than I did. My cell phone rings and low and behold it's Jared. I answer the phone half expecting him to say there's a cop ahead or he forgot to get his lunch I made him or whatever...but instead I get the following statement... "So I was driving down the road and I threw my banana peel out the window and immediately wondered if you were going to hit it and spin out" Hahahaha! Now if you have never played Mario Kart then it probably doesn't make sense to you but it definitely brightened my morning and reminded me why I love my husband!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
First Impressions
Ok, I know it's been well over a year since I have blogged. But in that year I have celebrated an anniversary with my wonderful husband, lost my best friend and companion Shadow after 4 fantastic years with her, paid off two vehicles, bought a house, and got a new puppy. So now that we have been caught up I will start with what happened this week...
Friday morning my new puppy, Dusk, came up missing. After looking for 45 minutes for a short 7 week old black puppy in tall grass, the corn field that surrounds my house, and kudzu I decided I had to leave for work. I came to work but I'm not sure why. All I could think about was her. So around 3pm I headed home. On my hour and a half trek home (cuz yes it takes me that long to get home since I live 67 miles one way from where I work) I decide a game plan. I am going to let my other two dogs out when I get home and hope that she hears them and comes running. Now for those who have not seen or been to my house I officially live smack dab in the middle of a corn field. So as I sit on my back deck with the dogs running in the backyard I see a man in the back field multiple acres away from me...he's about the size of an ant and I can vaguely make out that he is digging what appears to be a grave. I then see him dump something and continue filling it in. This starts to worry me. I, home alone in our new house, start thinking...where have we moved? People are burying bodies out here. This is crazy.
Jared comes home a short while later and decides to knock on people's doors to see if anyone has seen the puppy. Long story short we do not find her only to find out our closest neighbor appears to have stolen her. The weekend passes (with us stalking our closest neighbor) when Sunday night around 7pm there is a knock at the door. Another neighbor about a mile down the street has found her.
So to thank him I baked him a cake and brought it over to his house last night. Jared couldn't remember his name so I had to go alone cuz he didn't want that embarrassing awkward moment of..."this is my wife, Stefanie. Stefanie this is....ummmm..." So I went alone. I get out and walk up to the door and knock. A young guy comes to the door (keep in mind I have not seen the man nor do I know his name) so I stumbled out a few words that went something along the lines of "My husband and I live down the road and we lost a puppy and you found it and we wanted to show our appreciation" Yes, it did come out sounding as stupid as it sounds now. I panicked ha! The guy takes the cake out of my hands and shuts the door in my face. I slowly walk back to the car feeling like an idiot and drive home. I tell Jared about how stupid I feel and like most women, blame him...if he had gone it might not have been so embarrassing. I cook dinner and change clothes (which means I put on shorts and tshirt and no bra since I am at home after a long day's work) and we settle down to watch a movie. There is a knock on the door. Jared answers it to find out neighbor (the one I gave the cake to) and his wife standing there. Turns out their oldest son is handicapped and he is the one who answered the door. When he came back inside with the cake she was like "why didn't you invite her in?" So she made her husband drive her up there so they could thank me personally for the cake.
After standing outside for a few moments chit chatting they finally agreed to come in. Now at this point I have on shorts that I feel are way too short for a first impression with a 60 year old neighbor and his wife, legs that have not been shaved in forever since for a while there we were having to shower outside by hose pipe, no bra under my tshirt which means I must cross my arms while talking to them to hide this, and I have an eye infection in both eyes so I look a little cracked out. They stayed for about an hour talking (which led to the fact he buried his DOG Friday and not a human body) and the whole time I'm sure I seemed crazy cuz I kept pulling at my shorts and left my arms crossed. Awkward to say the least... they were nice people, but definitely not the kind of first impression I was hoping to make.
Friday morning my new puppy, Dusk, came up missing. After looking for 45 minutes for a short 7 week old black puppy in tall grass, the corn field that surrounds my house, and kudzu I decided I had to leave for work. I came to work but I'm not sure why. All I could think about was her. So around 3pm I headed home. On my hour and a half trek home (cuz yes it takes me that long to get home since I live 67 miles one way from where I work) I decide a game plan. I am going to let my other two dogs out when I get home and hope that she hears them and comes running. Now for those who have not seen or been to my house I officially live smack dab in the middle of a corn field. So as I sit on my back deck with the dogs running in the backyard I see a man in the back field multiple acres away from me...he's about the size of an ant and I can vaguely make out that he is digging what appears to be a grave. I then see him dump something and continue filling it in. This starts to worry me. I, home alone in our new house, start thinking...where have we moved? People are burying bodies out here. This is crazy.
Jared comes home a short while later and decides to knock on people's doors to see if anyone has seen the puppy. Long story short we do not find her only to find out our closest neighbor appears to have stolen her. The weekend passes (with us stalking our closest neighbor) when Sunday night around 7pm there is a knock at the door. Another neighbor about a mile down the street has found her.
So to thank him I baked him a cake and brought it over to his house last night. Jared couldn't remember his name so I had to go alone cuz he didn't want that embarrassing awkward moment of..."this is my wife, Stefanie. Stefanie this is....ummmm..." So I went alone. I get out and walk up to the door and knock. A young guy comes to the door (keep in mind I have not seen the man nor do I know his name) so I stumbled out a few words that went something along the lines of "My husband and I live down the road and we lost a puppy and you found it and we wanted to show our appreciation" Yes, it did come out sounding as stupid as it sounds now. I panicked ha! The guy takes the cake out of my hands and shuts the door in my face. I slowly walk back to the car feeling like an idiot and drive home. I tell Jared about how stupid I feel and like most women, blame him...if he had gone it might not have been so embarrassing. I cook dinner and change clothes (which means I put on shorts and tshirt and no bra since I am at home after a long day's work) and we settle down to watch a movie. There is a knock on the door. Jared answers it to find out neighbor (the one I gave the cake to) and his wife standing there. Turns out their oldest son is handicapped and he is the one who answered the door. When he came back inside with the cake she was like "why didn't you invite her in?" So she made her husband drive her up there so they could thank me personally for the cake.
After standing outside for a few moments chit chatting they finally agreed to come in. Now at this point I have on shorts that I feel are way too short for a first impression with a 60 year old neighbor and his wife, legs that have not been shaved in forever since for a while there we were having to shower outside by hose pipe, no bra under my tshirt which means I must cross my arms while talking to them to hide this, and I have an eye infection in both eyes so I look a little cracked out. They stayed for about an hour talking (which led to the fact he buried his DOG Friday and not a human body) and the whole time I'm sure I seemed crazy cuz I kept pulling at my shorts and left my arms crossed. Awkward to say the least... they were nice people, but definitely not the kind of first impression I was hoping to make.
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